Thinking of hiring a moirologist? I recommend using their talents to the fullest. You could have someone burst in demanding to know where you hid the gold, and then collapse, sobbing, on your casket. Make your funeral look like the crowd outside of a pop star's dressing room or tour bus (underwear-flinging optional). Have someone posthumously "reveal" your double life -- accountant by day, legendary pool hall hustler by night. Why is that Elvis impersonator crying over Grandma? Should I invite those Hell's Angels to our next barbecue? The possibilities are endless!
Moiroligst comes from the Greek moira (fate) and logos (word).