The controversial Art in Moderation Museum opened today in Springfield. The museum’s perspective on art is unique, and its goal is to bring the worlds best art together in one place, but without all the unfortunate and questionable parts.
The museum commissioned a replica of Michelangelo’s David, with permanent fig leaf, reproductions of Greek and Roman busts to be draped with togas, a copy of Guernica with the more “distressing bits” covered over with flowers, and a version of The Luncheon on the Grass with the nude woman removed.
While the museum does have some replicas that are unaltered from their original form, any with “objectionable” nudity or content have been altered to conform the “the common standards of goodness and decency.”
Besides nudity, other depictions which fall outside the standards of “goodness and decency” include portrayals of drunkenness and debauchery, excessive violence, distressingly incongruous or uncomfortable subject matter, and anything with political or anti-religious subject matter.
“This is an outrage. No museum should vitiate the world’s collective cultural heritage by altering the masterworks of its greatest artists. A fig leaf on David? It’s a violation and an abomination. While I applaud the fact that they’re not forcing their warped perspective on the rest of us, they are missing the point of art, and are deliberately cutting off access to a perspectives and images which have shaped how people understand and see the world. It is short sighted and limiting. Sad, really.”
Representatives from the museum declined to comment.
vitiate ( veh – SHE – ate ) verb. Latin. to injure the quality of; spoil. 2. to debase in moral or aesthetic status.
The root of "vitiate" is the Latin noun "vitium," meaning "fault" or "vice." It shows up in other English words such as "vituperate," a verb meaning "to scold," and the more common words "vicious," and "vice." That's some good mileage for a single noun from a dead language, isn't it?