Scientists last week proved the the Earth is not, as widely believed, filled with a creamy or a liquid fruit-flavored substance after all, but that the core is, in fact, solid.
The belief, that the Earth has a delightful sweet creamy filling under its colorful outer crust, is held by several thousand people, most of whom are not scientists at all. In fact, within this segment of the populous, there raged a great debate about whether the filling was creamy nougat, fruit, or a sweet cordial. A few believe that the center of the Earth is not filled with anything pleasant at all, but merely the fatty, runny eleoptene that comes from oil that’s been sitting to long. A small percentage of people believed that the filling was actually more like a nut, and these people are claiming that the findings about the Earth’s core support their theory.
“Isn’t a nut a solid? Sure those scientists say it’s solid iron in the core, but have they been there? Do they know? I think not. They’re just like those “fruit-filled” theorists. They think they know which planets are filled with nougat and which ones are filled with cordial just by looking at the “cosmic chocolate sampler diagram”. Well, you can’t. Those things are never right. You have to bite into things to see what’s inside them. And if you don’t like the filling, you can’t put them back. And it’s just too bad if you happen to be allergic to nuts, and that’s what you get, because you’re just asking for it. Some planets are just full of nuts. Period.”